Of the Will to carry on
by Apostle
Summary: Something's not quite right with their youngest kouhai. Possible Pairings later in the story.
1. Ties that bind, Ties that break

Ties that bind, Ties that break

A tear fell silently to the rain soaked ground; Ryoma could hardly feel his numb grip on his cell phone.

"Hello, is this Mr. Ryoma Echizen "

"….hai"

"We regret to inform you that Rinko Echizen has passed away this morning."

"…"

"Are you still there?"

"….hai"

That was it, no goodbyes, no tears, she was gone so suddenly…

In the midst of the celebration , no one noticed as the youngest Seigaku regular slip away into the storm.

The next day….

"Ochibi !!! Where were you yesterday, nya!!! We were looking all over for you y'know!!! " A hyperactive redhead bounced up and proceeded to glomp Ryoma in his customary greeting called a bear hug.

Ryoma ignored him completely and showed no signs of knowing that he was there and didn't even struggle or tell Kikumaru to get off.

"Nya, what's wrong with Ochibi, nya ?" was all Echizen heard in his daze.

"Echizen…Echizen, Oi, are you sleeping " Momoshiro waved his tanned arms right in front of his face.

"Fsssss…Of course not, how else do you think he got from his home to his school, momo no baka"

" Oi, mamushi, are you picking a fight!"

" I'm sure we can talk out our differences, no need to resort to violence," A savior in the form of Oishi came worrily, hoping to stop the agument

" Talk, with him! Never," They said in unison and promptly turned their backs on each other.

Everyone, get on the courts now!!! A commanding voice called out

"Hai" came the chorus of voices.

Despite this, everyone could tell that there was something seriously wrong with Echizen, they knew he was a brat with an arrogant, stuck-up attitude, hey, one may even call him anti-social, but he was never one to be so quiet, so unresponsive….

"Echizen"

"…Echizen"

"…ECHIZEN!!!!"

The loud voice just intruded on his thoughts, shaking him out of his reverie, and right into the not so amused face of Momoshiro

"….Hai"

" Echizen, I've been calling you for the past few minutes, where have you been, in the clouds? "

". …Gomen"

Momo ruffled the emerald locks of his youngest kohai, " you know, if you have any problems, you can come to me ……

Ryoma cut him off before he could continue, " I'm absolutely fine, momo-senpai" and gave a customary" mada mada dane" before he strolled off.

What he did not notice were a pair of azure eyes following his retreating back.


	2. Of secrets and friends

_**Of secrets and friends…**_

That night, it was raining, very heavily; just like the night he had that phone call that confirmed the horrible truth that his mother was dead.

Ryoma was in the cemetery, putting fresh flowers on her grave. He sniffed the bouquet and breathed in the pure, mint scent of white lily, his mother's favorite flower. Ryoma closed his eyes; this scent reminded him when he was younger. To him, this was a smell of safety. He still remembered how he ran to her after a nightmare, and his mother comforted him and soon put all his worries at ease. With her, all problems found solutions and questions produced answers.

He couldn't take it anymore and closed his eyes, trying not to cry. Behind him the thunder and lighting battled for dominance, reflecting the turmoil of emotion he felt. As the rain fell, his first tear followed suit, the first of many to come.

Tezuka was in his room, there was something definitely wrong with Echizen , his little pillar of support was coming apart at the seams and none of the regulars could figure out the problem. The boy in question just waved all their worries away, with a smirk and a well-placed " mada mada dane" that had Tezuka convinced that all was well until he saw the smirk falter the second the freshman thought no one was looking.

There was no question about it something had to be done; the only problem was that an answer could not be given unless presented with problem. In other words, no one could help Echizen if they did not know what was troubling him.

……………………………………

"Freshman, practice swings, second and third years on court E and D."

"Regulars,. ………practice matches"

"Kaidoh against Momoshiro"

"…"

"…"

Ryoma didn't hear the rest and only briefly tuned in to hear the name of his opponent: the tensai Fuji Syuusuke.

He tensed, knowing that Tezuka arranged this to find out what was wrong with him, and the tensai was very good at finding out the things other people wished to keep hidden

He gripped his racket tightly, not now, it was far too soon to face Fuji, the wound was still fresh, open, raw and bleeding.

Fuji from the other side of the court, could see Ryoma's face, it was priceless, he looked like a prey who was corned and knew it

Ryoma bit his lip, _oh well, the sooner this is over the better_, and started the game with his trademark twist serve.

_Echizen is too predictable,_ Fuji thought as he returned it with not a least bit of difficulty,

A rally then started, then the sudden question: Ne, Ryoma-kun, what happened to you recently?

The sudden use of his first name and the question stopped ryoma in his tracks, "what the…"

" fifteen love"

Echizen tugged the rim of his cap down, hiding from view golden hazel eyes

" That was low, sempai.."

Fuji only grinned at his obvious success, and repeated the question

Echizen served the ball," Betsuni "

Fuji hit the ball, " Really?" and not giving Echizen a break, moved in for the kill, " something happened at home?"

The horror on his face was priceless, Fuji really wished he had his camera; it wasn't often that Echizen had something other than a smirk or a scowl on his face.

" Thirty love"

Echizen fought to regain control over his turmoil of feelings," _how had his sempai guessed?"_

" Saa,… seems I'm right, ne, ryoma- kun?"the taunting voice came again.

_Dammit!! I wipe the grin of his face!!!_

The result was 7-5, but it didn't matter, after that leak, Fuji hadn't found out anything else, which was by itself a great accomplishment already.


	3. Of nightmares becoming real

**_Of nightmares becoming real…_**

It was raining heavily after the practices causing Tezuka and Fuji to shelter a while in the clubhouse till the rain eased up since the other regulars and club members had gone home already.

Fuji stood by the window, observing the storm in all its glory, all traces of a smile gone from his visage.

Tezuka sat on one of the benches, drying his soaked hair with a towel, face as troubled as his companion.

" I couldn't get anything from him."

"…"

" It may have something to do with his home though…"

"…"

And so the one sided conversation continued, with either side feeling as helpless as the other, unable to do anything but watch as their kouhai began to break under the weight of whatever he was not telling them

_Even pillars need support sometime or another…_

linebreak

Ryoma was at home hearing his father's drunken rage as he flung the various bottles into the walls , smashing it into smithereens. Ryoma winced as each smash hit home, each sound echoing through the walls of the broken home. He had known this would happen several months back.

_**Flashback**_

It had started as random bruises on her arm, it wasn't much to worry about, and they weren't that obvious or significant, only, his mother did not know how she got them.

It was no doubt unsettling, but the family had brushed it off, uneasily

They turned a blind eye to what was obvious from the start, hoping against hope that in wasn't anything too serious.

Things went downhill after that, he could still hear the doctor utter the sentence that would condemn Rinko. A death sentence, binding her to a hospital bed till her last breath and stealing her from him.

"I'm afraid to say that your wife has leukemia ………I'm sorry"

Even from across the room, Ryoma had saw his father face go blank from the shock and hear his mumbled mutterings of " that's not possible"

He himself ignored the stabbing pain in his heart, as well as the terrible feeling in his gut. He clenched his fist hard enough to draw blood from the flesh of his palm, gritted his teeth to try and keep from crying, _"its not possible….."_

It was quite sometime before he recovered from his denial, and went to visit his mother, reminding himself over and over again to be strong if not for himself, his mother…

It was to his credit that he leaked not a single tear till his mother's death.

_linebreak_

The next day was sunny, the previous rain acted as a shower to refresh the world.

Ryoma could not go to sleep and so woke up early, cleaning up bits of broken glass from his father's late night rampage, after a shower he walked to school and managed to for asleep on one of the various benches in the clubhouse….

Tezuka found him like that an hour later…

He was planning to leave the freshman like that until he noticed the said freshman caught in the gripes of what was obviously a nightmare.

Walking over in quick strides, he crossed the distance between them in seconds and gently pulled the freshman onto his lap, hoping to comfort him.

Once Ryoma was on his lap, he relaxed and began to cuddle closer to Tezuka, blissfully unaware of the close proximity between the captain and him at that very moment .

Tezuka, however, was wide awake and very, very much aware being this close to the boy , it was in one word, disturbing and was not at all helping the situation.

Tezuka tried to gently rouse him and at the same time push him off his lap.

It didn't work but instead backfired, the freshman clung closer to Tezuka and began mumbling something incoherent.

Tezuka stopped his actions and embraced him, trying to comfort him.

He, however was incredibly puzzled when he realized what the freshman was mumbling about,

"Okaa –san , don't leave me……… stay………..please ………"

Why in the world was Echizen calling out to his mother?

His pondering was interrupted when the club door swung open, announcing the arrival of the rest of the regulars,

"Tezuka, we were wondering where…"

".."

"…"

"…!!!"

"

Who found their captain and the freshman in quite a compromising position …

"Fssss…"

" Did you…?!!"

"Saa…who knew that Tezuka…"

"EEEP!!! Ochibi got raped by …." And was promptly cut off by a hand covering his mouth.

"There is no data that indicates this…….."

Followed by a string of " other" comments

Tezuka gaped; did they think he would really take advantage of innocent sleeping boys such as Echizen??? Who did they think he was?? Furthermore, neither of their clothes weren't even off yet!!!

Of course, his face remained a careful blank as he fought to compose himself, behind him, he distantly heard Fuji laughing silently.

He seethed inwardly, of course, the tensai knew what was really going on, but did not seem to be helpful enough to inform the others.

"Everyone, 50 laps now!" he said evenly.

This produced groans,

" Do we have to?"

" Nya, Captain so mean, nya!"

"…"

"60 laps…"

That got everyone moving…

Meanwhile, golden hazel eyes opened, to find himself in a very unexpected position

" Buchou……..?"


	4. Every step of the way

**_Every step of the way_**

" Buchou……..?"

Realizing the position that they were in, he stood up quickly, a little too quickly as they promptly lost their balance and found themselves on the floor, the wind knocked out of them.

They lay like that for a few moments until the silence was Echizen disrupted by laughing; yes laughing while Tezuka looked on in slight surprise

The laughter was unguarded and fully expressed what he was feeling, it was like a child care free and happy, and it almost made Tezuka want to laugh right out with him

But of course he wouldn't.

The laughter died out after a while, leaving Echizen a little breathless, but there was a slight change around him, a slightly more happier atmosphere which Tezuka found comforting considering how he had been behaving lately.

He was in a way glad that he had been the cause of it.

**Echizen…**

Echizen loved the courts, he loved the way tennis ball moved, how the racket swung to give different types of hits, he lived for the thrill of playing a match.

_Fifteen love_

He served again and the ball as predicted came hurling right back, he swung and the ball hit his racket…

_Forty love_

Match point.

He sometimes thought that if he were ever to call himself a junkie, then tennis was his drug. He thrived on the game. When he played, he felt on top of the world, the sky the very limit.

Once he played tennis, he completely forgot about all his troubles, so utterly absorbed he was. He supposed, that in some bizarre way, tennis was his release, his escape from reality; the tennis court was in one way or another, his sanctuary.

It was only out of the court that life got very confusing.

**Fuji…**

Echizen was like a flame on the court, Fuji decided, his eyes burning with passion, affixed on only one goal.

How very lucky the person whom Echizen chose to concentrate on, to be the center of all that unbridled passion, such focused intensity. It was, in one word,

Nirvana.

_**Echizen, **_the winds whispered.

The very word was enticing, alluring…

Which was ironic really, considering since Echizen's character was not exactly what you could call likeable.

He was cocky, arrogant and downright rude, but Fuji noted with a wry smile he did have the power to back up his high proclamations.

Yet people were drawn to him like fireflies to a light,

He pulled people in by pushing them away,

He should know, he was one of the fireflies…

**linebreak**

It was only in the changing room, that he noticed the bruises.

Black and blue contrasted against porcelain pale skin, furthermore, they looked fairly new.

Late as it was, it was only him and Echizen in the clubhouse.

He knew that he could not miss this opportunity as in nature; Echizen was quiet and kept to himself half the time. Later, he decided would be harder to question him.

So he moved forward, just in time to prevent him from leaving.

Golden eyes looked puzzled as he glanced Tezuka' s way.

"Buchou?'

He was met with empty silence and scrutinizing brown eyes.

"Where did you get all these bruises?"

Bruises???……………..Oh…………..oh no…….

_Flashback_

_It was puzzling to see his father sitting quietly at the table, albeit with a bottle in his hand, but quiet nevertheless._

"_Oyaji?' Ryoma called out uncertainly._

_His father's dulled eyes turned to him, and in that instant, Ryoma felt his mistake…_

"_You……………..YOU!!!" _

_Pain_

" _You killed your mother, you pathetic whelp!!"_

_Hurt_

" _You don't deserve to live if Rinko died…"_

…

"_Mum, I killed her?"_

_It was only later that he found out that his bone marrow matched that of his mother's and would have saved her life._

_But Rinko had downright refused, fearing for her son's health. You see, Ryoma was rather weak when he was younger, and had only just recently started getting better……._

_That was the only reason she died._

_He felt that he deserved every hit he got from his father._

" Well? " Tezuka asked expectantly.

The boy in question stood silent, wondering what explanation he could possibly give to pacify the older boy.

"Well…um…. I fell… " The lie sounded lame, even to himself and he winced.

"I see…" It was not a question, neither was it a statement. The captain stood cloaked in shadows, as such Ryoma was unable to see his expression.

" You better take _care_ of your self then, the nationals are coming up." A double meaning underlining his words.

He watched as Ryoma caught it and looked nearly horrified. But he composed himself well…

"I will……….."

And turned to walk out of the clubhouse door…

" You know, if you have a problem, you can always try coming to me…"

Ryoma's head whipped around, but found no one there, it was late, Tezuka had went to shower.


	5. Deeper into Still Waters

_**Deeper into Still waters**__**…**_

Ryoma did not understand what was wrong with him ever since his mother died, his emotions had bean in a mind-numbing whirl, impossible to understand.

Sometimes he would cry for no particular reason at all, well at least not for a reason he could actually comprehend.

So it was wasn't really surprising to himself that he actually laughed in the locker room. At Tezuka no less. Not that he could actually help it.

The sight of his dignified captain lying on the floor trying to catch his breath, hair messed up not to mention his crooked spectacles sliding off on his nose had in one way amused him to no end. And the end result was surprising to say the least, he actually felt like his old self again. And on further reflection, it did not look like Tezuka had minded at all.

There were days when Ryoma himself did not even understand himself.

**linebreak**

Fuji was frustrated , restless even and could not stop himself from pacing up and down inside the clubhouse . What Tezuka had told him had made him angry and furious , who had dared to touch his precious Ryoma ? That person would pay dearly, at least as soon as he found out who said person was.

"Nya, Fujiko, will you stop doing that, my eyes ar e getting g dizzy." Eiji whined. The other regulars were also showing signs of nervousness, had they offended the tensai in some way?

At this, he paused, he did not realize that it was beginning to be so obvious, heck; he hadn't even known when he had started pacing in the first place.

The door opened and the familiar head of Echizen Ryoma popped in through the doorway, he looked tired and had bags under his eyes, and Fuji felt his heart squeeze for a moment. Ryoma, however was not spared when a certain hyperactive redhead latched himself on to him.

" Ochibi!!!!!!!!"

It was a while before they could convince him to let go but not before Fuji saw him suppress a small wince, from the hug.

" You're late." It was a valid statement and the tone of voice showed that it was not to be argued with. The other regulars stayed quiet.

Ryoma heeded the unspoken command and said nothing too.

" Regulars, start practice." The same voice continued without missing a beat and as Ryoma was about to turn to the exit, " and Echizen stay behind , I wish to talk to you, and at least Fuji will. The last part was said so quietly, that Ryoma nearly missed it.

Great, now not only was the captain on his case, a certain tensai had decided to come aboard too.

He signed, life was going to get very difficult.

**linebreak**

It took a while , before Ryoma had managed to squirm out of the clutches of two particular people.

As the door shut, Fuji and Tezuka were left alone in the room.

it was Fuji who broke the silence, "Do you think we should let him go just like that?"

The talk with Ryoma had not yielded anything worth knowing about namely who was, well, beating him.

"Yes," came the affirmative answer, " Its not like we could get anything else from him. For all we know we could just be making the matter worse…"

The brunette nodded his head, a silent agreement. If they kept pushing Ryoma to reveal more, it just might backfire and cause the already quiet freshman to redraw further into his shell. And then, it would be even harder then now to help him.

Echizen walked back home in the chilly autumn air it was not exactly that he did not want appreciate their concern.

He was grateful actually, at least it showed that he had some friends who were genuinely concerned over his well being.

But he could tell that his father did not mean anything by beating him up, it was the alcohol speaking.

And despite how his father had been acting recently, he could still tell that he loved him and was just to overcome with grief. The alcohol was a way to release from all his pain.

At least he hoped that was the case.

**linebreak**

It was painful to say the least , the boxes that he was carrying kept banging against his small thigh , coincidentally the same one that his father had hit the night before.

It hurt to walk, but if he complained, he was sure that he would be fired immediately , if not soon.

The boss had not shortage of willing people to do this job, it was hard even trying to convince him to hire him. Blame it on his height or rather the lack of it in short, if he got fired, he would be back at square one , meaning that he would have no money at all.

It was true that they were rich. Once. But that was before.…Mom got ill , here, his heart twisted again, before all the expensive treatments she had to undergo , it prolonged her life a little, barely really, in his heart he knew that even before she had started one of those treatments , that she was living on borrowed time. The doctor had said so himself . But the result was the same in the end.

With her passing came his father's newly acquired addiction to alcohol, a rather expensive habit which drained what little of the money that they had. Well, he could understand a bit, as he mused , alcohol numbed the brain , it was his father's way of shutting himself out and to deal with the loss he had so recently sustained .

But of course, the little money they had, lessened with each passing day and he had no choice but to try to earn money to settle the mounting bills and to cater for living expenses. As such, he was working some 6 hours everyday, only heading home at around 10pm every night.

Right now he was working for a rather overbearing boss, not that he would tell that to his face, currently, he was helping to transport a latest shipment of books into the quaint looking bookshop, Ryoma did understand that the place had to be somewhat neat but the way his boss had gone about it was ridiculous. For crying out loud, who in their right mind would ask his employees to dust the new books , clean the floor and on the whole, spring clean the entire store every other day ?!

Well, apparently his new boss.

**linebreak**

It was time to take action Fuji decided, he could not allow this to go on. He was currently sitting in class gazing outside the window, with the teacher was droning on in the background. Not that he was actually paying attention.

The resident tensai had currently more important things on his mind , namely Ryoma.

It hurt him that the boy did not trust him enough to confide in him , he wouldn't tell if Ryoma had espressively requested.

The beatings had to stop and he smiled a creepy smile as he thought of a perfect way to do just so.

1) find the person responsible

2) kill the person responsible in the painfulness way possible.

3) Dispose of the mutilated body in the worst way possible.

4)…

He was up to this point when he suddenly became aware of someone calling his name.

"Fuji-kun, kindly answer question 4 on the board" the teacher said slyly, he was finally able to humiliate the prodigy in front of the entire class. He had not forgotten an incident in which Fuji corrected him not once nor twice but three times, it was beyond embarrassing especially after he boasted to everyone who cared to listen, that he managed to get into the top prestigious university at age 18 , years younger than most.

Perhaps this would teach Fuji to pay attention in his class.

Fuji smiled his honey sweet smile and replied just as sweetly, " Of course, a is 3 , b is 5 and c is -1."

Already behind him, he could hear the awed whispers of his classmates.

"Did you see that, he didn't even do any working!!"

"Sugoi ne!"

"That's Fuji for you ,nya!"

And of course Eiji.

A later concern arose however,

"sensei?? "

"Sensei…"

" SENSEI!!!"

Absolutely no reply, of course he would not, not when he had just been stunned by a certain Fuji Syuusuke.


End file.
